A Sojourn: Part 3--Going Home. Continued..

Having survived the night without developing lung cancer from the smoke drenched walls in the room, we gradually made our way to breakfast. I was pleasantly surprised by what they offered because I was expecting more of a continental style. Instead, they had just about anything you could ask for. Was this great breakfast justified by everything else? Probably not, but I was going to eat as much as I damn well pleased to make up for it. We go back on the road and before we entered Wyoming, there was a statute of President Lincoln right at the border. There was no reason for this other than a monument to the martyred leader. It just seemed so out of place and in such a random spot being on the Utah/Wyoming border. I'll leave this one a mystery.
The plan for the day was to stop in Rock Springs, Wyoming to see one of my good friends for a little bit, and then try and make as far as we could from there after leaving. When we finally got to Rock Springs, it was just like any other Wyoming town: shitty. There was a monument to a tumbleweed once blowing through town. Not really, but that's how little went on in this town. According to Steph (my friend we met up with), one of the most popular things to do in town was smoke crystal meth. Apparently Rock Springs is one of the crystal meth meccas in the country. She had never taken part in the activity and neither were we, although the urge was there once we realized how crappy things were. The fact that she spent an entire summer in that bastion of nothingness is still pretty amazing. Since everything fun was closed on Sunday, we wound up spending some time at the local Applebee's. Apparently it was one of the town's finest eating establishments. Judging by the cussing and throwing of objects in the kitchen, I can see why people would want to come here; for entertainment! It certainly wasn't the food because almost everything we ordered they were out of.
We finally parted ways with somber goodbyes and made our way across the awful state. We came across signs for the town of Larramie and asked each other, "isn't that the town where that one Sheppard kid got murdered and lynched for being gay?" Alas it was. How awful is that, that your town is most commonly known for murdering a gay man. Time for a makeover. Having finally entered Nebraska, it was probably even worse than Wyoming. At least in Wyoming there were some mountains to look at. In Nebraska, there was nothing. To paraphrase Dave Attell, the best thing to do upon enterting this place is get the hell out. Referred by the locals as "America's roadblock", Nebraska basically had one road right down the heart of the state. Cruise control was a blessing in this place. We eventually stopped at a local gas station to fill the tank and stretch out our legs. This may have been the greatest (or worst) gas stop in the universe. The cashier at the Taco Bell stand had on a KFC shirt and crustache that made him think he was a "hardass like Dog the Bounty Hunter," (his words). Thankfully there was no confusion on the food like in Reno, but there were an unusual amount of angry fat people in the other side of the store. Much to my dismay, the bathrooms were in that part of the place and so I had to walk by this angry lot of people. Nothing happened on my way to the urinal, but on the way back I got a glare and a quick "what the fuck are you lookin' at fucker" from a woman that could have been the spawn of Mimi from the Drew Carey show and Swamp Thing.
When we finally got back to the car, we noticed the windshield was covered in dead bugs. We had discussed this at one point and wondered how many bugs we had killed on our journey. We were, in essence, mass bug murderers. We probably killed somewhere in the upper hundreds to thousands. If the bugs had a Geneva Convention, our asses would be toast. In any case, while doing that, a car pulled up with the bass blasting full tilt. Out walked three of the skiniest and weirdest looking white guys I have ever seen. They, like the Taco Bell clerk, had those gross crustaches (must be a Nebraska thing). Further, they were clad in Fubu and Roca Wear that was so baggy, they could barely walk without tripping. They bobbed their heads to the beat and gave me a head nod. Did they realize where they were? Did they care? Was there a ghetto around Nebraska that I missed? It reminded me of that one movie "White Boyz" where these white guys from Iowa try and act like they are ghetto and "gangsta", but soon get a harsh (but funny) lesson in Chicago. I cleaned up the last bug and drove away with the bass from their car still wringing in my ear.
We finally made it to Lincoln, Nebraska where it was very humid. We had decided to try and sleep in the car to save some money and pulled in a lot at an "Econolodge". Things didn't start off so well since the car was already miserably hot on the inside and bugs were swarming like locusts on the outside, which made it impossible to roll down the windows. Further, the Taco Bell was kicking and screaming in my stomach and I had to go to the bathroom. I went into the front to ask the manager if I could use the restroom. To give you an image of him, picture the bearded dwarf king from the Lord of the Rings. This was what the guy looked like but with a tight Van Halen shirt on that was about 4 sizes too small. Further, when I walked in he was watching re-runs of old X-Files episodes. Maybe if I had said I was working for agent Mulder, I would have had more success, but he denied me access even though nobody was using it AND it was a public restroom. I promptly raced back to the car in order to find a stop. The Taco Bell was still wreaking havoc on my insides and I needed to find relief quickly. We finally found a place where they let me use their bathroom. The lady that pointed me in the direction of those toilets said "you have the look of somebody that needs to find a bathroom." I don't remember looking like I was in a panic or making weird faces from the pain, so it made me wonder, what does a person's face look like that needs to use the bathroom? Can the same face be classified for hunger? murder? winning the lotto? I was pondering all of this while literally releasing my inner demons. I get some of my best thinking done there. Finally making it back to the car, we finally caved and got a room. It was just too humid to try and sleep in the car. The smell would have lingered for the entire car ride back to Ohio the next day, which would have clearly sucked. Until next time...